Saturday, April 4, 2009

Public Service Announcement: Broke!

My people…

Please, abeg, biko, ejo, kai! (or whatever it is Hausa people say) do not vex for me that I have not updated this blog or responded to your comments in quite a while. The reason for this happens to be this “global economic meltdown” or whichever name you want to call it that is hitting me badly.

Just imagine, for the past few months now, my middle name has been “Broke”! Ever since Danny Bagucci put up a post on the choice of names and how it affects our behaviour, I have decided to check the dictionary definition of my newly acquired middle name.

My Merriam-Webster 11th Collegiate Dictionary (on my PC) defines Broke as “the past tense of break” although I shall use the second shorter more apt description: Penniless. (There is of course, a third definition that refers to a sexual encounter but I can’t find that slang in my Merriam-Webster so let’s not go there.)

Most of my Phoneparazzi shots are usually not planned or composed beforehand since most of them are taken on the spur of the moment anyway, but then there also are the few which are as a result of desperation such as the one shown below:
Yes oh, people! That is a shot of my fridge in my current broke state. To make matters worse, it’s a mini-fridge (or fridgelet, abi no be so LG?) and the thing really isn’t mine sef.

For the un-initiated let me explain the contents of this darling fridge. You see those plenty shiny polythene bags in there? Those things are satchets of good old “pure water”. The rest of the fridge is empty apart from a packet of drinking straws (I don’t think I’ve ever used them to drink anything) and 60 Naira’s worth of Agege bread wrapped in a black poly bag. C’est finis.

On top of the fridge rests a knife, a ring boiler (that has never been used), an empty bottle of jam and a can of Blue Band margarine all about to be pressed into active service in preparing Agege bread breakfast.

Ladies, most men will never admit this oh, but the sight of refrigerators like these is a very convincing reason for us to get married. I even wish I could pretend and say this is a staged picture but by the time I finish typing this, the number of pure water in the fridge would have reduced further sef.

So, my great people, this is just one out of many reasons why I have not been updating. Things are bad. Despite my pride, I will henceforth be accepting donations - money is good, packaged food is even better.

On a final note, here’s our reflection for this weekend: Just how would you define “Broke”?

I have just shown you mine. E remain your own…

PS: A certain female blogger has commissioned me to take pictures of a certain class of people in society. The funny thing is, I used to see them everywhere before but now I've accepted the assignment, they seem to have disappeared! If worst comes to the worst, thanks to my current state, I'll just snap myself and mail it to her...


  1. methinks u need to junk the 'broke' name dude....

  2. posting you a biog bowl of jollof rice and roast chicken! cause a man cannot live on water alone. Although you will have flawless skin by the time you finish drinking all that water.

    My fridge should look like that because i am suppose to be on a diet :)


  3. @ DB: Me needs to really junk the middlename BIG time!

    @ wordmerchant: Can't wait for that rice and chicken. I think I prefer a full stomach right now... The flawless skin can come later!


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